How many of these things has your partner done to you?
- ignored your feelings
- ridiculed or insulted women as a group
- ridiculed or insulted your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, heritage, or class
- withheld approval, appreciation or affection as punishment
- continually criticized you, called you names, shouted at you
- insulted or drove away your friends or family
- humiliated you in public or private
- refused to socialize with you
- kept you from working, controlled your money, made all decisions
- refused to work or share money
- took car keys or money away
- regularly threatened to leave or told you to leave
- threatened to hurt you or your family
- punished or deprived the children when he was angry at you
- threatened to kidnap the children if you left him
- told you about his affairs
- abused pets to hurt you
- harassed you about affairs he imagined you were having
- manipulated you with lies and contradictions
Did you often doubt your judgement or wonder if you were “crazy”?
Were you afraid of your partner?
Did you express your opinion less and less freely?
Did you develop fears of other people and tend to see others less often?
Did you spend a lot of time watching for his bad, and not so bad, moods before bringing up a subject?
Did you ask permission to spend money, take classes or socialize with friends?
Were you afraid of doing the wrong thing or getting into trouble?
Did you lose confidence in your abilities, become depressed and feel trapped and powerless?
Has your intimate partner done any of these things to you?
- pushed or shoved you
- held you to keep from leaving
- slapped or bit you
- kicked or choked you
- hit or punched you
- thrown objects at you
- locked you out of the house
- abandoned you in dangerous places
- refused you help when you were sick, injured, or pregnant
- subjected you to reckless driving
- forced you off the road or kept you from driving
- raped you
- threatened or hurt you with a weapon
Which of those acts happened repeatedly?
Which of them resulted ion bruises, cuts or broken bones?
Which of them required medical treatment, hospitalization, or resulted in permanent injury or disfigurement?
Have the assaults stayed about the same in frequency, or are they changing? If so, how are they changing?
Has your partner done any of these things to you?
- told anti-woman jokes or made demeaning remarks about women
- treated women as sex objects
- been jealously angry, assuming you would have sex with any available man
- insisted you dress in a more sexual way than you wanted
- minimized the importance of your feelings about sex
- criticized you sexually
- insisted on unwanted and uncomfortable touching
- withheld sex and affection
- called you sexual names like “whore” and “frigid”
- forced you to strip when you didn’t want to
- publicly showed sexual interest in other women
- had affairs with other women after agreeing to a monogamous relationship
- forced sex with him or others or forced you to watch others
- forced particular unwanted sexual acts
- forced sex after beating
- forced sex when you were sick or it was a danger to your health
- forced sex for the purpose of hurting you with objects or weapons
- committed sadistic sexual acts
Have you been less interested in sex since you became involved with your partner or since he made particular demands?
Do you feel less physically attractive than you did before?
Do you feel sexually humiliated or ashamed, or do you believe that no one else would want you sexually?
Are you afraid to initiate what you want sexually?