Tips for Significant Others
Do Listen.
Do be supportive.
Do say, “I’m glad you’re alive.”
Do say, “I’m sorry this happened.”
Do say, “It’s not your fault.”
Do say, “You did the best you could to survive.”
Do say, “I’m here for you.”
Do ask the survivor’s permission when you want to provide physical comfort.Do provide information and options about resources.
Do realize that sexual assault affects survivors in many want and that almost any reaction is possible.
Don’t project your own feelings onto the victim.
Don’t say what he or she should have done differently.
Don’t say what you would have done differently.
Don’t ask, “Why didn’t you run, scream, fight, leave?”
Don’t ask for specifics about the assault. But do listen if he or she want to reveal that information.Don’t ask blaming questions such as, “Why were you wearing that? Why were you there? Did you lead him on?”
Don’t ask irrelevant questions such as, “Was he good looking?”
Don’t take control away from survivors. Allow them to make their own decisions.Don’t forget that recovery from sexual assault is an ongoing process that takes months, years or a lifetime.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself. You can’t support anyone if you don’t support yourself.
ICASA Resource Manual
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